It is so challenging to hold an inspired mental state or divine-based awareness in which we cherish that feeling, even if it is very painful, because we know nothing is more real than these moments. Do people without prior connectivity finally start to really connect at a deeper level? These intense moments will never be forgotten, but somehow we always struggle to maintain the truly inspired soul as the secular grind seems to flush it out. Where does it really come from…life-changing experiences, unparalleled personal growth, unimaginable loss, or finding deeper purpose for our existence? Either way, you know it is real or it separates us from all other animals. That we do exist for a different purpose…compassion, love, hope and empathy, which are humanity’s best attributes.
Here I am again at life’s painless bridge between the temporary physical and the unknown spiritual world. It seems like yesterday, when in reality it was actually over three years ago that my father was admitted to Signature HealthCARE of East Louisville with terminal pancreatic cancer for a short stay after a yearlong battle with a brutal cancer. He passed on the exact day we had scheduled the first local book signing for “My God! Our God?” on my old college campus, Bellarmine University. Watching his last breaths, he kept saying he was going to show up no matter what, and then with crazy storms that evening and a packed house, I realized he was with me as promised – just in different form.
Now, it’s my beautiful, angelic mother who gets diagnosed with lung cancer without ever smoking almost 14 months ago, and after a great, almost perfect year of parties, downtown plays, family dinners, hot air balloon rides, and deep dialogue about her wishes, dreams, and final plans. We had just enjoyed the past 12 months like it could last longer. Then it hit and hit hard within a month. First, it was permanent oxygen. Second, pneumonia. Third, almost bed ridden. Recently, a two-week hospital stay, and then she was admitted to Signature East like my father. Now we are facing the PAIN that just keeps coming. For an adopted son to watch the mother suffer who changed his entire life, I can’t think of a more helpless feeling than this. The amazing mother who did everything to make your world safe, special and nurturing, grimacing next to you in great pain and there are no magic pills this time.
This time it feels more comfortable because I feel a deeper bond with the care team than during my last experience. I know I have always loved our Signature caregivers, but now I feel more understanding about their journey. For example, I remember during CNA clinicals that certain residents at Signature HealthCARE of South Louisville were just like my mother – frail, quiet, in great pain, and near the end…..which makes this experience different because I can somehow relate to the emotional toll for our stakeholders. I liked my residents in just two days; what about these revolutionaries who emotionally attach to all residents they see every day? To be truthful, last time I mainly saw Dad and no one else. I was just thankful to have a great facility that made us feel like home. As a CNA in training, the irony for me is when certain family members would say their loved one was in great health just last month. It seemed impossible to me that anyone could decline that fast until I witnessed my own mother’s rapid decline and how it affects each one of us, no matter whose mother it is.
Now some background on mom. My mother was always too perfect to relate to as I grew up. She always told me she never hated anyone, had no reason to ever lie, seemed to hate competitive board games because she believed there were only winners, kept friends from all walks of life, loved everyone almost equal, and when she received some tough cards like we all do with my brother’s tragic illness and my sister’s early struggles, she stayed positive never giving up hope…Now this.
As I sit here in the 300 Hall next to her, holding her hand as she goes in and out near midnight, it hurts deeply because I know how this will end but it also inspires me more to get the Revolution right in all ways. The stakeholders here are exceptional, the place is very clean, the people are generally happy, mom trusts them 100%, and the physician’s involvement is exceptional, but we have so much more to do. My original dream somehow seems closer in reach now than ever.
I dream that we could build our SHC volunteer army finally companywide, where no one would ever die alone if they are part of the Revolution!
I dream that all of our locations would have a family suite on site that anyone could use when they just want to be here and not miss anything like me.
I dream of a day we could resurrect our Palliative Care plan so we are the best in the country in delivering this “must-have” program because we all need it!
I dream of a day where the day you are admitted, the Signature Miracle Book, crowd-sourced by all stakeholders, sits on the end table ready, as a simple read, so losing hope and dreaming of miracles never ends.
I dream that an in-room dining menu would be at the fingertips of our residents so mom could get French Onion soup and a milkshake right now, since she failed to touch her dinner again tonight because when you are this sick, it better be your personal favorite.
I dream of a day where every stakeholder becomes a CNA so every call light and resident need can be handled immediately, and we all walk the talk – maybe we even travel in scrubs for FABI dream of a day where my mom could be connected with bedside entertainment and read every prayer, answer Skype calls, and talk with anyone she wants to reach out to or locate, because time is short and every communication opportunity matters more than ever.
I dream of a day when compassion, empathy, and hope rule every hallway and every resident, family, and stakeholder have the same concern for everyone like it was their own mother….just the way God intended it to be!
Cherish the awesome memories, wrap her in your arms and know that God is there!!
Dear Joe,
My heart goes out to you and your family. As I shed a few tears reading your post, I also can understand it fully. I lost my own belowed Father to pancreatic cancer a few years ago to a brutal, painful and very short battle. Like you, I was also privileged to stay and hold his hand as he passed to more peaceful place. Today I do pray for you, your Mother and your whole family trully from the bottom of my heart as one human should always do for another. Your Mom is blessed to have you. If there is anything I can do please let me know.
God Bless,
Monika
Inspiring article…thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Joe…it will all happen. Thank you for inspiring us with your vision, heart, and openness.
Joe, your mom is very lucky to have a loving son like you. Her faith and love is truly reflected in your life.
She was always friendly and welcomed neighborhood visitors. Yet, she always set boundaries and expectations if we ever acted up. We knew not to cross that line.
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” — Revelation 21:5
I’d like to visit with her if she’s up to it – just let me know.
Thank you Joe for sharing a part of your heart. We pray for you and your family.
Joe,
Every day I keep thinking of all my good memories having your Mom as my Godmother, and don’t tell the others, but my very favorite aunt. There just are no words how very sad this is for us all. Why, oh why HER???
Donna
Joe…Your ability to share your feelings and inspire others at such a difficult time is truly inspiring. Keep dreaming and praying. God is with us and I know he will be with you family during this trying time.
Joe, Anne and I pray for your mother, you and your entire family. Some of your words quickly take me back to my mother’s struggle with cancer two years ago. The final few visits with her, which included great talk and touch, are very, very important to me now. Your words are inspiring. We do have an incredible opportunity to make life better – especially for the senior population that needs someone to be for them in a genuine way.
Mr. Steier,
Your testimony touched my heart! I literally feel your pain and sorrow. For what it is worth, I too have sat where you are sitting, and know first hand the helplessness that one feels during this moment. Thank you for leading us in this Revolution! Everyday I walk down a hall way, I see my mother, dad, and grand-parents living in someones body,..every resident is so special!! I am so honored to a part of the Signature family! You and your mom are being lifted up to the God of grace and mercy by many.
God bless
Rev. Ronnie Case -Chaplain/Director of Spirituality -1st Peter 5:7
The Bridge @ So.Pittsburg.
Joe,
I couldn’t find the words to say what I felt as I read your post, or quite frankly since I first came to work for you. I went online to try to find a definition that would describe what you so often exemplify, “the epitome of greatness”. The person who came up upon the search was Mother Teresa, and though you look nothing like her (good thing)… but you do exemplify her pure heart. By showing the desire that drives you to help those who, at times may seem have been abandoned from the world in which they knew. To love each as if they were your own mother, father or child, and to care when it seems there is no one left to care.
I admire and respect you, and those close to you, who have been a part of the Revolution from the start. Together you have formed what is called the “Mastermind principle” which consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.”
Your greatness is a testimony to your Mother, for she is your best teacher. … As children the most effective teaching we will ever receive is, from home. We remember these teachings forever, and when we are old, we will not depart from them.
God Bless you, your family and friends who are hurting at this time. I lost my mother when I was 18, and know firsthand what you are experiencing. I wish I could tell you something encouraging, but the truth is I can’t. The sorrow is still there, some days more than others, but there is also much joy. I think of things that she said, lessons she taught and the sacrifices she made and some she didn’t make. I realize I am who I am today because of her. Our parents are the ones who mold us into the person we become. I never had the pleasure of meeting your mother, but knowing the person you are, it would be accurate to say your mother is a benevolent woman.
It is inspiring that her legacy can be such a positive impact on so many people
Joe,
Stay strong for her and never forget that your mom chose you to become her son. That alone is a priceless gift that not everyone can share. You and your family are in my prayers. Hope
I have worked for other companies where compassion is non-existent. The COMPASSION that is felt at Signature is overwhelming. Not only do we care for our residents, but for each other. We are family. We share each others joys, triumphs, grief, good times and bad times. I know that we are on the road to all of your dreams. My prayers are with you and your family.
Pastor Brian Hines/ Director of Spirituality
The Bridge at Rockwood
Dear Joe,
My deepest prayers and thoughts are for you and your family today. May the God of heaven and Earth continue to give you grace, peace and comfort during this time.
In His Service and love,
Brian
May God Bless your beautiful mother and may she be at peace. We are praying for you and your family at this time.
Pam Christian & Vickie Payne
Your words bring tears to my eyes and I pray that you and your family find peace and comfort in this most difficult time. Thank you for sharing your feelings, dreams, and hopes with all of us, it truly keeps the revolution alive.
Mr. Joe Steier, I have one word to say. JEHOVAH JEREH. Our GOD is the HEALER. Call upon that name and watch GOD HEAL. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. All things work together for the good of those who love GOD.
I know You love him. Be Blessesd
You and your family are in our prayers. My Mother said, “We are twice a child.” It is so true.
Whether we lose the function of our body or our mind, we are dependent on others for our care. I thank God for the vision, leadership and mostly the stakeholders who are on the front lines everyday providing everything from a smile to personal care to the people in our care. God will see you through the days ahead and I pray you will continue to look back at better days with family, friends and laughter as well as strength from your upbringing. When we lose our parents and that unconditional love they have for us, remembering and carring on makes us stronger as we put one foot in front of the other. God bless.
My prayers and thoughts are with you as you and your family stand by your mom in her true hour of need. She is so blessed to have you there and you will cherish these short days forever. I wish you strength and courage.
My mother is a resident at Riverview and although she has just been here for therapy after a crushed wrist, I would like to say that her care has been wonderful and she loves everyone here. She is dreading going home.This place has been wonderful for her, and I am thankful to work here. This is my family and now is my mom’s family also. We are also your family and you are in our prayers daily. God Bless You!
Mr. Steier,
You are such an amazing person with such a huge heart. Reading this reminds me why I do what it is I do on a day to day basis. Being molded by such strong parents will prepare you for the adversities that life can bring. Because of the love that your Mom has given you, life has brand new meaning and it shows through your daily work and how it relates to Gods purpose for your life. God has his hands on you, a blanket to cover you when in need and will carry you days you just can’t seem to move. I am so proud to be a part of such a wonderful family! I will continue to lift you and your family up in my prayers. Pain will endure for a night but JOY will come in the morning. May God continue to keep you and bless you In Jesus name, Amen.
Perhaps he too stood in his own backyard one night and pearing at the moon thought, “Boy, I dream of a day when I can maybe be the one to first put his foot on the moon. Awe, could such a thing be possible?” Then when preparing to make that first small step for Man and simultaneously the giant leap for Mankind, that same little boy wondered who might be looking back through the telescope he dreamed through so long ago, but now, at him.
Joe,
I have been blessed and honored to meet your wonderful Mother. She is truly an angel, always kind and pleasant. Time is priceless right now so cherish the time you have left with her. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers…God is with her.
Our invisible reality (Spirit) has always been, is now, and will always be. May you find comfort knowing that this is not an ending, only a transition.
Joe may God bless you, your mother and your family. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Joe – Your mom is blessed to have you with her on this part of her journey. As painful as this is, you are there with her to help her face the days ahead. We can only hope to be so fortunate. You and your family remain in my prayers..
I remember on the Signature prayer chain one day receiving an email that contained a poem entitled, “It’s in the valleys that I grow.” I was going thru a particularly rough time and that one little email helped me to realize how I never seemed to be closer to God than when suffering through life’s trials and tribulations, and how it was during those times that I began to understand and appreciate what is truly important in life. It helped me to learn the great value of redemptive suffering and to draw closer to God in difficult times; and to especially think of and do for others. I know this is a lesson you don’t need teaching. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
Joe you have always impressed me by the care you have for this business. But more by the care you show your stakeholders, and your family I know this personally. You were so kind when my son died. I pray the peace of God surounds you and holds you tightly. I also pray that all your visions come true. I believe that Signature is well on it’s way. Keep on going, God is truly using you.
Joe,
Anyone who knows MLS is blessed! I have so many memories, and am so blessed to call her my aunt. She has been like a mom to me for 18 years. There will be one heck of a party in heaven when the Bernardi sister reunite. I love you!
Joe
My heart and prayers go out to you and your mom and family. I have a mom in a nursing home who is failing and I find myself giving extra care to our residents daily, and seeing that that patients light needs to be answered more timely and each person needs an extra special smile and hug. Talk to your mom about favorite memories, your favorite smells and times with her and your dad. These are special times. I found when i read the 23 Psalm to my brohter while he layed in the hospice house that that they gave him and me extra comfort. God bless and I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Remember God Loves you both. Sharon
Dear Joe,
Your Mom is on her journey and we send you all light and love.
I too, have been a family member and an employee at the same time. She will make your resolve stronger as we move forward to better our world in their honor. God bless you all.